After a couple of days of pure loneliness and depression I finally had to balls to text her well reply to her texts that she sent the night that I didn't say goodbye. Those past couple days though were not the greatest. I could not get her out of my mind, I cried for her and whenever I thought about her and the guy together I would get upset and angry and punch the wooden stand of my bed. I even did a stupid move and talked to my ex from Virginia to maybe calm me down and make me feel better. Obviously she was being the usual bitchy girl that she is now.
I texted her apologizing for my actions and how pathetic I felt doing it. She even stopped by the store Saturday to drop some rolls of bread which were really good.....I can never get tired of bread rolls hahaha :) But when she stopped by my heart just stopped and gave a huge beat as my eyes widen opened a bit. I ignored her and acted like I was over everything and didn't want to see her again. I never should have done that I should have gone up to her and said "I'm sorry...you don't have to forgive me but I had to at least tell you that" and walk off to finish my shift. I texted her Monday night and apologized to her and well she forgave me....I was glad, overjoyed yet I still felt like I wasn't done there. Luckily she wanted to meet so I went over to where she was and once I got there I was nervous, scared yet regretful for what I did. I was embarrassed as a man to meet her face to face again. I walked up to her as she made a silly joke knowing her lol but I had my face looking slightly away a bit. We walked and sat down on the stairs and talked, made some jokes just like before any of this ever happened. I was nervous to tell her sorry in front of her but she said it first. I told her that none of it was her fault and that I took the risk and should have known it could have happened. Even up to now she still apologized so I gotta remind her about it ^_^
I hugged her before I left to go home. It was 3 in the morning and when our arms was around each other I just didn't want to let go. My heart raced like no other and I left there not just with a smile but a sense that of that I can't be breaking the promise I made to her before. She might still be in love with her ex but still I said I would still be there for her as a friend and be there for her.
There are still many things I have myself to do with my life like follow my dream I have but first I still have to get rid of the little blockades that block my path towards that goal of mine. I'm hoping to get my old job back and make Gamestop a small part time job again like I did before. I want to make off all the debts I have and finally be at peace with that. I want to be able to finally move out from my parents home like I did 3 years ago and maybe even go back to school to have at least some type of degree. I felt like the events that happened this past week have opened my eyes and have made me more determined to reach those goals and to stay by her side no matter what happens to me.
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